In the epistle to Titus, Paul gives instructions to his “true child in a common faith,” so that Titus could put the church in order. Paul includes instructions to be passed on to different groups of people in the church. In chapter two, he specifies what older women are to be like and what they are to teach the young women (Titus 2:3–5). I have long pondered these instructions, particularly as it gives insight into the differences between men and women. Why have separate instructions for men and women if men and women are basically the same? Why guard against certain things for women and other things for men? The Holy Spirit, in his timeless wisdom and grace, has given the church (and the women in the church) precisely what we need to hear so that we would be in good order and so that the word of God would be revered.
Titus 2:3–5 paints a beautiful and positive vision of godly womanhood. But sometimes it’s the contrast, the illumination of an evil and ugly portrait, that helps us to see and grasp why God’s ways are desired above all else. We may consent that it’s good for older women to “teach what is good” and for younger women to “love their husbands and children,” and even that self-control, purity, and kindness are all worth working toward. Yet, when we paint the picture in reverse, when we examine what it looks like to do the opposite of what God instructs for his church—what picture do we find staring back at us? Perhaps an all too familiar one. In this article, I want to paint a picture of the Titus 2 woman inverted—so that all woman might avoid conforming to this worldly image.
The World’s Instructions for Women
Permit me to paint the antithesis of Titus 2:3–5 for the sake of illuminating what happens when women give way to sin:
Older women are irreverent in behavior, speaking evil of others and indulging in much wine. They teach what is bad, and so train the young women to disregard their husbands and children, to be rash, impure, working anywhere but home (or idling when they are home), with crooked morals, and defying their own husbands (or submissive to anyone but their own husband), with the result that the word of God is laughed at and taken lightly.
The vice that waves a flag over this ungodly portrait is irreverence—that is, making light what God has made weighty. The root of irreverence grows from a heart that doesn’t take God seriously. Irreverence toward God and his word can lead to irreverence toward others who should be given honor. Irreverence is an equal-opportunity vice, affecting both men and women, but it manifests in a particular way in women. We can see the thread of irreverence continue in the description of the ungodly woman: she is a slanderer, that is, she speaks evilly about others, and her evil speech is aided by wine that loosens her irreverent tongue.
Sins of Speech
It should be no big shock that slander (and its close relative, gossip) are sins that women must be particularly on guard against. Woman’s relationship to the truth has been a tenuous one since the first woman, Eve, believed the first lie from that diabolical snake in the garden. Believing lies and telling lies are both sins, (although they carry varying degrees of culpability). When Eve believed the lie, she transgressed, but Adam was ultimately responsible. Slander is a form of lying that speaks an untrue evil about another person. Gossip includes speaking without discretion about others’ personal lives or business, including the broader category of rumors, idle talk, and chatter.
What is quite clear is that when women sin, they tend to do so with a lot of words. Paul warns Timothy that some widows, “learn to be idlers, going about from house to house, and not only idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying what they should not” (1 Tim. 5:13). It’s worth reminding ourselves that “Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent” (Prov. 17:28). Sometimes we wrongly praise talkative young girls for how articulate they are, when really, they are practicing a diarrhea of the mouth and should be taught that not every thought should find a voice—verbosity is not a virtue. Too often it can be the avenue for vice. As you’ll recall, the woman known as ‘folly’ is “loud” (Prov 7:11; 9:13).
Sins of the Home
As the ungodly portrait continues, there are three particular objects that a woman’s sin is aimed at: her husband, her children, and her home. All three objects should be her top priorities, have her deepest loyalties, and be the recipients of her good work, but instead they are taken lightly, or worse, despised. This is how sin works—whatever has the most potential for godliness and good work also has the most potential for sin and wickedness. Women’s good works and godly influence produce incalculable good when rightly channeled toward husband, children, and home. But when her works and influence are bent toward selfish or wicked ends as she relates to her husband, children, and home, she will bear untold rottenness. The generations will tell the tale either way.
So what might it look like when a woman is beginning to take lightly the commands of the Lord to love husband and children, to work at home, and to submit to her own husband? Look for a woman who lacks control of her tongue, joking with subtle maliciousness about the burden of children, the silliness of her husband, and the menial deprecation of her home duties. Look for a woman who is rash in decision-making, regularly over-reacting before truly understanding a given situation. Look for a woman who effortlessly submits to whatever her friends think but is often oppositional to her husband’s opinions, ideas, or requests. Look for a woman whose high estimation of herself rules out the normal expectations of everyday duties, while instead she toys with idleness and impurity, with an undercurrent of the martyr complex whenever hard work calls. Look for a woman who rejects the wise experience and counsel of older women in her church but quickly adopts the counsel of her social media peers. And most importantly, if you’re a woman, look for these things in yourself, before you start noticing them in others (Matt. 7:3–5).
Conclusion
When women sin against God by neglecting their husbands, children, and homes; when they sin by irreverently speaking evil of others or by letting their emotions lead them to act rashly or through indulgent alcohol use or with impurity; when they sin by lacking moral clarity and defying their husbands—it’s not just themselves who are harmed, but God’s very word is reviled in his church. Women have immense influence in the church over how seriously God’s word is taken, and that influence isn’t born of her Bible scholarship, but of her obedience and reverence.
What should we do if we notice that the testimony of our speech and living is getting closer to the antithesis of Titus 2 rather than the godly model Paul gives us? First, remember that because of Christ, the forgiveness of your sins is as near as your willingness to receive it. Confess your sins and the Lord will do what he says: forgive your sins and cleanse you from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9). I would also encourage you to pay particular attention to any irreverence in your heart. An irreverent heart must be replaced with a fearful one. The fear of the Lord is like paver stones that lay down the path for our friendship with him (Psalm 25:14). When we fear him as we ought, we find our hearts and actions chastened––we become slow to speak, slow to anger, and more attentive to the duties God has given us. As we fear the Lord, we know him better, we obey him more, and we grow in wisdom––this is what a godly woman looks like: reverent, fearing the Lord, and all the rest will follow.
